Facebook Status – From clever people…

Alex R. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Alex R. If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments :P
Alex R. couldn’t find a decaf coffee table at IKEA
Robert D. using a confusing analogy is like driving a Jeep over a box of doughnuts, it just doesn’t make sense. :)
Joshua M. Freedom means the right to yell Theater in a crowded fire.
Tim H. Weed smoking and turkey pulling today. Oops…reverse those verbs. Sorry.

Funny Facebook Status – Don’t pass up this Facebook status

This is the one that had me cracking up, mostly cause it has a good bit of truth in it…

Robert D.”the greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington

Micah G. wonders what a civilization of puppets would use as currency.

Luke E.  Why is the jeopardy theme song stuck in my head? It is giving me a false sense of anxiety.

James L. thinks the big apple will be an adjustment after a month without fruit or vegetables

Noah C. “Women: Can’t live with them, can’t kill them.”

Leave a comment with your brilliant Facebook Status!

Hysterical Facebookable Statuses for Facebook

Here is a brand new batch of Facebook Statuses for you. Some of these are hysterical. Keep sending them in or commenting with your own!

Vaughan A. is a cross dresser. Deciding what to wear can get me angry.

Ben F. is dynamite with a lazer beam.

Thomas G. I’ve dreamed up a new sport to save part of the auto industry… Chrysler Town and Country street racing!

Katie M. shivers with antici…………………………………………………………pation

Tyler A. has made it his job to put the “fun” back into “funeral.”

Andrew M. is living vicariously through himself.

Robert D. is under the weather, as opposed to certain astronauts, who are above it.

Aaron M. The original title of the movie XXX was XXXX, but one of the Xs got scared and ran away when they heard they cast Vin Diesel.

Brandon H. Found refs for game 5 listed on Craig’s List…obviously Lakers bought them for game 4.

Jessica E. Han > Luke

Facebook Statuses to use… Both Funny and Clever

Ernie keeps secrets from his computer.

Jessica M. aren’t you a little short for a storm trooper?

John B. is John’s inquisitive mind.

Elizabeth B. has people on her mind. And they weigh more than I do… so it’s a little heavy.

Ram G. What happens if I type here?

Liam M. is the National Spellling Bee Runer-Up

Adrian A. thinks all who cherish the second amendment should be glad for Michelle Obama’s continued public support for our constitutional right to Bare Arms.

Funny/Clever Status to Use for Your Facebook Status

These are some new Facebook statuses spotted in the wild. Keep posting your clever statuses in the comments.

Allison is Boom, roasted.

Blake just watched the first part of the Godfather for his “Family Business Management” class.

Aaron is down with the sickness.

Joel is tradin’ in his Chevy for a Cadillacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacac

Nathan Why have a Hummer if you can’t jump curbs to pass cars turning ahead of you and run down unsuspecting cars merging in front of them, I say?

Richard -who needs crack when the president has got all the stimulants you need.

Matthew is what do you say when an atheist sneezes?

Vaughan is such a thrillseeker, when I see a ‘Caution, Wet Floor’ sign, I walk faster

Ernie says don’t you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There’s one marked ‘Brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.

Facebook Statuses from Clever Profiles

Ernie supports the Annexation of Canada! Vote yes on 6!

Ernie can read minds, but is illiterate.

Ernie is preparing to not just read about socialism in history books, but in the morning newspaper (Matt C.)

Ernie is a ninja =.= (Chris V.)

Ernie thinks Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don’t make sense. Refrigerator (Thanks Alan)

Ernie thinks life is like a box of terrible analogies (Threadless)

Ernie is making sure his deer isn’t staring at headlights (Cat R.)

Funny Facebook Statuses from Profiles

Ernie just got bitten by a radioactive spider and now has super spidey powers

Ernie is the reason Waldo is hiding

Ernie is. Are you?

Ernie’s eyes hurt from trying to decipher if the unzoomed picture of you in your profile shot is you or some random with your same name.

Ernie is going crazy… wanna come?

Ernie’s bathroom scale can go from 0 to 230 in 3 seconds flat.

Ernie says, always take two Baptists fishing. If you take only one, he’ll drink all your beer. (thanks Gabe)

Clever Facebook statuses, you’ll like these!

Ernie is planning a vacation and is leaning towards Pisa.
Ernie says, Muscle Shoals has got the swampers.
Ernie wants to expand the NFL season to 162 games.
Ernie’s NOT fat…that’s his money belt.
Ernie is: a stereotype. I’m not wrong. I’m cuddly.
Ernie is writing: Anachronistic Antidisestablishmentarianism: A Case Study.
Ernie sees golf-ball sized hail! Grab your 9-iron and let’s go…
Ernie is: thinking Pandora didn’t think outside the box.
Ernie brakes for unicorns.
Ernie is: the kid next door’s imaginary friend.

Hat tip to Yahoo subject generator for these.

Clever & Funny Facebook statuses – come and get em!

Ernie wants an Orange Mocha Frappuccino!
Ernie served in the military under General Apathy.
Ernie is: trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
Ernie Facts: 1) Ninjas are mammals. 2) Ninjas fight ALL the time. 3) The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.
Ernie found a shortcut for next week’s marathon.
Ernie is: revoking your creative license.
Ernie is: leveraging core competencies across the extraprise
Ernie, it turns out, isn’t a Jedi
Ernie’s hobby is collecting dust

Funny Facebook statuses -Random assrtmnt.

Ernie puts the pro in procrastinate

Ernie hears a voice in his head saying, “hey, can I join in?”

Ernie needs to learn how to type with more than two fingers

Ernie is: hammering out a wicked comeback

Ernie is: Jack’s complete lack of surprise.     From Fight Club

Ernie is: calm as a Hindu cow        From Fight Club

Ernie is: so fly he’s growing wings.

Facebook statuses both funny and clever!

Ernie needs help watering the plastic flowers.

Ernie is: going through a shrinking spurt.

Ernie can do astonishing feats of MENTALISM!

Ernie says, do me a favor, and don’t do me anymore favors!

Ernie suffers from uncontrollable falling down?

Ernie says, Absotively posilutely!

Ernie is: taking a machete to the intellectual thickets of society.

Ernie is: learning the art of driving a giant, nuclear powered duck.

Ernie says, cannibals are what they eat.

Ernie is: on a joyride to sanity looking for his marbles.

Man! too many clever Facebook statuses!

Ernie’s train of thought has derailed

Ernie says, Shaloha!

Ernie’s mono isn’t getting better…it could turn into stereo.

Ernie says, Space heaters make great house-warming gifts!

Ernie is: flossing with angel hair pasta.

Ernie has zero tolerance for lactose intolerance.

Ernie wonders, chai tea vs. tai chi?

Ernie wants you to know, there’s a great juggler on the radio tonight!

Ernie is amazed at the alarming drop-out rate of sky diving classes.

Ernie has a marvelous rack of spam recipe

Ernie is: wondering, what does cheese say when you take its picture?

Ernie is: on a crusade for Moorish dignity.

Ernie is: reading ASAP’s Fables.

Funny, Very Funny Facebook Statuses

Ernie is: celebrating the Cinco de Mayonnaise.

Ernie says, It’s not you, it’s me. I don’t like you.

Ernie is doing National Bring Your Hamster to work day.

Ernie says, It’s a small world so you have to use your elbows a lot.

Ernie is: asking for your daughter’s paw in marriage.

Ernie now knows the hazards of storing plutonium in Tupperware.

Ernie is: workin’ like a one-armed paper-hanger with an itch…

Ernie thinks its cheaper to fly to Old Zealand than New Zealand.

Ernie is: cooking pork chops in the toaster

Ernie says, save the whales! Collect the whole set!

My what Clever Facebook Statuses…

Ernie is: the walrus

Ernie is: getting time-off for good behavior.

Ernie asks that you quote him as saying he was misquoted.

Ernie has 20/20 hearing!

Ernie says, Oh no! Not another learning experience!

Ernie says, These aren’t the droids we’re looking for.

Ernie wishes you a Happy New Now!

Ernie says, wake me up when it’s time to go to sleep.

Funny & Clever Facebook Statuses to make you cry with laughter.

Ernie is: carving watermelons on Halloween.

Ernie is: eating pasta with chopsticks.

Ernie’s favorite color is Vanna White.

Ernie is: sorry he missed you. Stand still next time.

Ernie is: out of his mind, but feel free to leave a message.

Ernie is: wondering, is your coffee table decaf?

Ernie is: dropping science like Galileo dropped the orange

Ernie is: wondering if he hops in the shower, is he turning into a rabbit?

Thanks to Yahoo subject generator!