These are some new Facebook statuses spotted in the wild. Keep posting your clever statuses in the comments.
Allison is Boom, roasted.
Blake just watched the first part of the Godfather for his “Family Business Management” class.
Aaron is down with the sickness.
Joel is tradin’ in his Chevy for a Cadillacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacac
Nathan Why have a Hummer if you can’t jump curbs to pass cars turning ahead of you and run down unsuspecting cars merging in front of them, I say?
Richard -who needs crack when the president has got all the stimulants you need.
Matthew is what do you say when an atheist sneezes?
Vaughan is such a thrillseeker, when I see a ‘Caution, Wet Floor’ sign, I walk faster
Ernie says don’t you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There’s one marked ‘Brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.
March 10, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Peter just had a fight with the Michilin Man. Now he’s really tired.
Peter saw you on some internet porn. You should really hide those tapes!
Peter always thought he was a little crooked – now it’s confirmed.
March 26, 2009 at 3:01 pm
HAHAHA NATHAN I C WHERE U GET UR STATUS 4RM…hahaha
April 6, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Aaron is wondering if one of the synchronized swimmers drowns…. do the rest of them have to drown too?
Aaron just got an original copy of his birth certificate…. and its not really a birth certificate at all, its an apology letter from a condom company.
May 8, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Mo is ____________. (fill in the blank)
July 3, 2009 at 10:59 am
Chloe is coming to a theater near you!
September 7, 2009 at 11:26 am
______ is accidentally writing this on purpose.
October 16, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Mathew… u stole that from dane cook