Funny and Clever Facebook Statuses

Facebook Status you can use right now.

blakeimeson — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 00:32:00 +0000

Brittany F. survey: Would you rather be a ginormous hampster or a tiny rhinocerous?

Ram G. You just read this sentence.

Thomas H. there are 365 days in a year but only 360 degrees in a circle. What happened to the other 5?

William F. Day man! Ahahaa!! Fighter of the night man. Champion of the sun. You’re a master of karate and friendship for everyone!

Elizabeth B. They sell Universal remotes at Wal*Mart… can you believe that power like that is available to just anyone! Crazy.

Matthew C. used the search term “the perfect job for me” on google and it laughed at me.

Read all of the best funny facebook statuses at funnystatuses.com

Best Facebook Statuses from the Comments

blakeimeson — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 19:40:30 +0000

These are some of the most clever, witty, funny and hysterical Facebook Statuses that you have submitted in the comments section.

Emery scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.

Theresa C. is OCD and gathering her thoughts in alphabetical order…

Zoey Joy – Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea, but I couldn’t change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn’t want my arms to get cold…

Brian … is anxiously awaiting Brett Favre’s annual cover of “Should I Stay or Should I Go”

Julia I am so ecstatic but why is nothing sticking to me?

Jeremy Build a man a fire he’s warm for a day, set him on fire and he’s warm the rest of his life.

Keep submitting your Facebook statuses and you might get featured on the home page!

Current Facebook Trend or Meme: Name on Urban Dictionary

blakeimeson — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 17:41:38 +0000

Latest trend on Facebook is not what is technically called, Urbaning Here is the definition from Urban Dictionary:

1.	Urbaning
	February 4, 2010 Urban Word of the Day To look up your own name on Urban Dictionary, either for definition or myspace useage.

Some version of this is put into the status:

Go to urbandictionary.com and look up your first name. Copy this in your status and what Urban Dictionary says about your name in the first comment…

Have some comments on this?

Current Facebook Meme: Celebrity Lookalike Profile Picture

blakeimeson — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:09:30 +0000

Decided to occasionally pass on whatever meme seems to be sweeping through Facebook.

Feel free to comment on the current meme being highlighted or clue us in to the meme that is now spreading like wildfire over Facebook.

Current Meme: Change your profile picture to a celebrity you are supposed to look most like.

It’s Doppelgänger week; change your profile picture to someone famous you have been told you look like. After you update your profile with your twin photo, cut and paste this to your status . . .

or…

DOPPLEGANGER WEEK: During this week change your profile picture to someone famous (actor, musician, athlete) you have been told you look like…. and re-post this message

Facebook Status Collection III

blakeimeson — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 11:52:19 +0000

Matthew C. thinks finding a job is like playing “Where’s Waldo?”… except Waldo is looking for a job too.

Ernie says to never play leapfrog with a unicorn

Matthew L. A good pun is its own reword.

Ernie wonders why the frisbee is getting bigger and then it hits me

Ernie will one day rule candyland with an iron fist (From AutoCompleteMe)

Brittany F. was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said “Parking Fine”

Facebook Status Collection II

blakeimeson — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 22:51:06 +0000

Flip your Facebook status for a really neat status.
Blake spɹɐʍʞɔɐq puɐ uʍop ǝpısdn plɹoʍ ǝɥʇ sǝǝs (Use this tool for the effect)

Alan B. Tomorrow I’m gonna write a blog post about procrastination.

Michael C. Ironing boards: Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.

Ted C. became a fan of not becoming a fan of everything on facebook.

Alex R. Can mute people burp?

Ernie to err is human, to arr is pirate.

Facebook Status – From clever people…

blakeimeson — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 17:22:57 +0000

Alex R. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Alex R. If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments :P
Alex R. couldn’t find a decaf coffee table at IKEA
Robert D. using a confusing analogy is like driving a Jeep over a box of doughnuts, it just doesn’t make sense. :)
Joshua M. Freedom means the right to yell Theater in a crowded fire.
Tim H. Weed smoking and turkey pulling today. Oops…reverse those verbs. Sorry.

Funny Facebook Status – Don’t pass up this Facebook status

blakeimeson — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 03:46:30 +0000

This is the one that had me cracking up, mostly cause it has a good bit of truth in it…

Robert D.”the greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington

Micah G. wonders what a civilization of puppets would use as currency.

Luke E. Why is the jeopardy theme song stuck in my head? It is giving me a false sense of anxiety.

James L. thinks the big apple will be an adjustment after a month without fruit or vegetables

Noah C. “Women: Can’t live with them, can’t kill them.”

Leave a comment with your brilliant Facebook Status!

Hysterical Facebookable Statuses for Facebook

blakeimeson — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 20:06:16 +0000

Here is a brand new batch of Facebook Statuses for you. Some of these are hysterical. Keep sending them in or commenting with your own!

Vaughan A. is a cross dresser. Deciding what to wear can get me angry.

Ben F. is dynamite with a lazer beam.

Thomas G. I’ve dreamed up a new sport to save part of the auto industry… Chrysler Town and Country street racing!

Katie M. shivers with antici…………………………………………………………pation

Tyler A. has made it his job to put the “fun” back into “funeral.”

Andrew M. is living vicariously through himself.

Robert D. is under the weather, as opposed to certain astronauts, who are above it.

Aaron M. The original title of the movie XXX was XXXX, but one of the Xs got scared and ran away when they heard they cast Vin Diesel.

Brandon H. Found refs for game 5 listed on Craig’s List…obviously Lakers bought them for game 4.

Jessica E. Han > Luke

Facebook Statuses to use… Both Funny and Clever

blakeimeson — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 23:43:19 +0000

Ernie keeps secrets from his computer.

Jessica M. aren’t you a little short for a storm trooper?

John B. is John’s inquisitive mind.

Elizabeth B. has people on her mind. And they weigh more than I do… so it’s a little heavy.

Ram G. What happens if I type here?

Liam M. is the National Spellling Bee Runer-Up

Adrian A. thinks all who cherish the second amendment should be glad for Michelle Obama’s continued public support for our constitutional right to Bare Arms.