Facebook Statuses from Clever Profiles

Ernie supports the Annexation of Canada! Vote yes on 6!

Ernie can read minds, but is illiterate.

Ernie is preparing to not just read about socialism in history books, but in the morning newspaper (Matt C.)

Ernie is a ninja =.= (Chris V.)

Ernie thinks Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don’t make sense. Refrigerator (Thanks Alan)

Ernie thinks life is like a box of terrible analogies (Threadless)

Ernie is making sure his deer isn’t staring at headlights (Cat R.)

Funny Facebook Statuses from Profiles

Ernie just got bitten by a radioactive spider and now has super spidey powers

Ernie is the reason Waldo is hiding

Ernie is. Are you?

Ernie’s eyes hurt from trying to decipher if the unzoomed picture of you in your profile shot is you or some random with your same name.

Ernie is going crazy… wanna come?

Ernie’s bathroom scale can go from 0 to 230 in 3 seconds flat.

Ernie says, always take two Baptists fishing. If you take only one, he’ll drink all your beer. (thanks Gabe)

Funny Facebook statuses -Random assrtmnt.

Ernie puts the pro in procrastinate

Ernie hears a voice in his head saying, “hey, can I join in?”

Ernie needs to learn how to type with more than two fingers

Ernie is: hammering out a wicked comeback

Ernie is: Jack’s complete lack of surprise.     From Fight Club

Ernie is: calm as a Hindu cow        From Fight Club

Ernie is: so fly he’s growing wings.

Facebook statuses both funny and clever!

Ernie needs help watering the plastic flowers.

Ernie is: going through a shrinking spurt.

Ernie can do astonishing feats of MENTALISM!

Ernie says, do me a favor, and don’t do me anymore favors!

Ernie suffers from uncontrollable falling down?

Ernie says, Absotively posilutely!

Ernie is: taking a machete to the intellectual thickets of society.

Ernie is: learning the art of driving a giant, nuclear powered duck.

Ernie says, cannibals are what they eat.

Ernie is: on a joyride to sanity looking for his marbles.

Man! too many clever Facebook statuses!

Ernie’s train of thought has derailed

Ernie says, Shaloha!

Ernie’s mono isn’t getting better…it could turn into stereo.

Ernie says, Space heaters make great house-warming gifts!

Ernie is: flossing with angel hair pasta.

Ernie has zero tolerance for lactose intolerance.

Ernie wonders, chai tea vs. tai chi?

Ernie wants you to know, there’s a great juggler on the radio tonight!

Ernie is amazed at the alarming drop-out rate of sky diving classes.

Ernie has a marvelous rack of spam recipe

Ernie is: wondering, what does cheese say when you take its picture?

Ernie is: on a crusade for Moorish dignity.

Ernie is: reading ASAP’s Fables.

My what Clever Facebook Statuses…

Ernie is: the walrus

Ernie is: getting time-off for good behavior.

Ernie asks that you quote him as saying he was misquoted.

Ernie has 20/20 hearing!

Ernie says, Oh no! Not another learning experience!

Ernie says, These aren’t the droids we’re looking for.

Ernie wishes you a Happy New Now!

Ernie says, wake me up when it’s time to go to sleep.

Funny & Clever Facebook Statuses to make you cry with laughter.

Ernie is: carving watermelons on Halloween.

Ernie is: eating pasta with chopsticks.

Ernie’s favorite color is Vanna White.

Ernie is: sorry he missed you. Stand still next time.

Ernie is: out of his mind, but feel free to leave a message.

Ernie is: wondering, is your coffee table decaf?

Ernie is: dropping science like Galileo dropped the orange

Ernie is: wondering if he hops in the shower, is he turning into a rabbit?

Thanks to Yahoo subject generator!