Funny Facebook Status – Don’t pass up this Facebook status

This is the one that had me cracking up, mostly cause it has a good bit of truth in it…

Robert D.”the greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington

Micah G. wonders what a civilization of puppets would use as currency.

Luke E.  Why is the jeopardy theme song stuck in my head? It is giving me a false sense of anxiety.

James L. thinks the big apple will be an adjustment after a month without fruit or vegetables

Noah C. “Women: Can’t live with them, can’t kill them.”

Leave a comment with your brilliant Facebook Status!

Clever Facebook statuses, you’ll like these!

Ernie is planning a vacation and is leaning towards Pisa.
Ernie says, Muscle Shoals has got the swampers.
Ernie wants to expand the NFL season to 162 games.
Ernie’s NOT fat…that’s his money belt.
Ernie is: a stereotype. I’m not wrong. I’m cuddly.
Ernie is writing: Anachronistic Antidisestablishmentarianism: A Case Study.
Ernie sees golf-ball sized hail! Grab your 9-iron and let’s go…
Ernie is: thinking Pandora didn’t think outside the box.
Ernie brakes for unicorns.
Ernie is: the kid next door’s imaginary friend.

Hat tip to Yahoo subject generator for these.

Clever & Funny Facebook statuses – come and get em!

Ernie wants an Orange Mocha Frappuccino!
Ernie served in the military under General Apathy.
Ernie is: trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
Ernie Facts: 1) Ninjas are mammals. 2) Ninjas fight ALL the time. 3) The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.
Ernie found a shortcut for next week’s marathon.
Ernie is: revoking your creative license.
Ernie is: leveraging core competencies across the extraprise
Ernie, it turns out, isn’t a Jedi
Ernie’s hobby is collecting dust

Are you ready for a Great Facebook Status?

Ernie is: just got back from his probation hearing.

Ernie is: (has) logically deduced, absolute knowledge corrupts absolutely, therefore he is giving up studying and sleeping

Ernie is: presenting his thesis on “E=MC3: That’s Right, Einstein, I Said Cubed!”

Ernie is: being interviewed on his new novel “Sweet and Sour Pork: How Can It Be Both? At The Same Time?”

Ernie is: gathering research for his essay, “Lincoln: The Man, The President, The Town Car”

Ernie is: wondering if his new research grant will accept his thesis, “Whoops!: I Blew My $800,000 Research Grant At The MGM Grand Casino”

Ernie is: pondering the scientific evidence to support the claim “Kraft Macaroni & Cheese: So Cheesy, It Should Be Called ‘Kraft Cheese & Macaroni’”

Ernie is: reviewing extensive analysis on the topic “There Sure Are A Lot of ‘Smiths’ In The Phone Book, Dude”

Ernie is: a bit disappointed he didn’t win the Nobel Prize as evidenced by his book “Why The People Who Award The Nobel Prize Are A Bunch Of Jerks”

Ernie is: doing scientific research on “Gravity: The Devil’s Tool”

Use these funny Facebook statuses on your profile!

Ernie is: wondering why he must think of himself in the third-person to change his status.

Ernie is: just now realizing he ran out of T.P.

Ernie is: on furlough, sabbatical, hiatus, break.

Ernie is: buckle your seatbelt Dorothy cause Kansas is going bye-bye.
(Matrix Facebook status)

Ernie is: debating whether to take the blue pill or the red pill.                          (Matrix Facebook status)

Ernie is: the limit of x as it approaches perfection.

Ernie is: the slope of the tangent line of the function f[x]=awesome.

Ernie is: fighting the good fight.

VERY funny Facebook statuses II

Ernie is: Gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse

Ernie is: Loving the smell of napalm in the morning

Ernie is: The stuff that dreams are made of

Ernie is: Walking here

Ernie is: in need of a bigger boat

Ernie is: Winning one for the gipper (Ronald Reagan)

Ernie is: Gonna get you, and your little dog too! (From Wizard of Oz)

Ernie is: Not Mr. Lebowski, your Mr. Lebowski. I’m the dude.

Ernie is: Frankly, not giving a damn. (From Gone with the Wind)

Thanks to Dave G.

Facebook status from O Brother, Where Art Thou

These are some hilarious facebook statuses from O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Ernie is: gonna lead us all in a rousing chorus of “You Are My Sunshine.”

Ernie is: with you folks. I’m a forgiving, Christian sort of man. And I say, if their rambunctiousness, and misdemeanoring, is behind them…

Ernie is: gonna pick up the pieces and retie the knot, mixaphorically speaking.

Ernie is: the only one that remains unaffiliated.

Ernie is: a Dapper Dan man!

Ernie is: gonna visit those foreclosing son-of-a-guns at the Indianola Savings & Loan, slap that money on the barrelhead and buy back the family farm.

Ernie is: the only daddy you got! the damn paterfamilias!

Ernie is: the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man.

Ernie is: not sure that’s Pete.

Ernie is: tellin’ tales out of school

Ernie is: George Nelson, not baby face! You remember, and tell your friends…

Thanks to Dave G.

VERY funny Facebook statuses!

Ernie is: going to make hermit crabs live together Thanks – Demetri Martin

Ernie is: an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, nestled in a sesame seed bun of mystery.

Thanks – Jon Stewart

Ernie is: learning to stop worrying and love the bomb. Thanks – Dr. Strangelove

Ernie is: gunter glieben glauchen globen

Ernie is: therefore he thinks Thanks- Luke S.

Ernie is: Update your status…