Funny Facebook Statuses from Profiles

Ernie just got bitten by a radioactive spider and now has super spidey powers

Ernie is the reason Waldo is hiding

Ernie is. Are you?

Ernie’s eyes hurt from trying to decipher if the unzoomed picture of you in your profile shot is you or some random with your same name.

Ernie is going crazy… wanna come?

Ernie’s bathroom scale can go from 0 to 230 in 3 seconds flat.

Ernie says, always take two Baptists fishing. If you take only one, he’ll drink all your beer. (thanks Gabe)

Funny Facebook statuses -Random assrtmnt.

Ernie puts the pro in procrastinate

Ernie hears a voice in his head saying, “hey, can I join in?”

Ernie needs to learn how to type with more than two fingers

Ernie is: hammering out a wicked comeback

Ernie is: Jack’s complete lack of surprise.     From Fight Club

Ernie is: calm as a Hindu cow        From Fight Club

Ernie is: so fly he’s growing wings.

Facebook statuses both funny and clever!

Ernie needs help watering the plastic flowers.

Ernie is: going through a shrinking spurt.

Ernie can do astonishing feats of MENTALISM!

Ernie says, do me a favor, and don’t do me anymore favors!

Ernie suffers from uncontrollable falling down?

Ernie says, Absotively posilutely!

Ernie is: taking a machete to the intellectual thickets of society.

Ernie is: learning the art of driving a giant, nuclear powered duck.

Ernie says, cannibals are what they eat.

Ernie is: on a joyride to sanity looking for his marbles.

Funny, Very Funny Facebook Statuses

Ernie is: celebrating the Cinco de Mayonnaise.

Ernie says, It’s not you, it’s me. I don’t like you.

Ernie is doing National Bring Your Hamster to work day.

Ernie says, It’s a small world so you have to use your elbows a lot.

Ernie is: asking for your daughter’s paw in marriage.

Ernie now knows the hazards of storing plutonium in Tupperware.

Ernie is: workin’ like a one-armed paper-hanger with an itch…

Ernie thinks its cheaper to fly to Old Zealand than New Zealand.

Ernie is: cooking pork chops in the toaster

Ernie says, save the whales! Collect the whole set!

Funny & Clever Facebook Statuses to make you cry with laughter.

Ernie is: carving watermelons on Halloween.

Ernie is: eating pasta with chopsticks.

Ernie’s favorite color is Vanna White.

Ernie is: sorry he missed you. Stand still next time.

Ernie is: out of his mind, but feel free to leave a message.

Ernie is: wondering, is your coffee table decaf?

Ernie is: dropping science like Galileo dropped the orange

Ernie is: wondering if he hops in the shower, is he turning into a rabbit?

Thanks to Yahoo subject generator!

Ideas for a Funny Facebook Status.

Ernie is: thinking of a number between 1 and 10.

Ernie is: shiny (from Firefly)

Ernie is: kekekekeke

Ernie is: all your base are belong to us. (AYBABTU from gamer culture)

Ernie is: run Forest, run! from Forest Gump – Thanks to Brett H.

Ernie is: sleeping because he’s not nocturnal.

Ernie is: training to withstand sleep deprivation torture.

Ernie is: wondering when they invented the word neologism… what did they call it?

Ernie is: showing his colleagues your profile and they’re all laughing at your picture.

Ernie is: pulling weeds is like getting a 98% on a test and then getting chewed out for the 2% you missed… Thanks to Alex K.

Facebook statuses from Monty Python you say?

Ernie is: pondering whether coconuts migrate?

Ernie is: wondering what is the air speed of an unladen swallow

Ernie is: frustrated by the anarcho-syndicalist peasants

Props to Matt C. for these clever statuses